Loose Tooth
by DBZfangurl47
Summary: What happens when you put a 13-year-old Edward with a loose tooth in a room full of bored soldiers, right next to the room where an angry Roy Mustang is busy with paperwork? No pairings, rated K for teeny bit of violence.


"Uuugh, I hate this stupid tooth."

Edward stomped into the office, papers clenched in his hand, and the younger Elric trailing behind. It was mid Monday morning, and so far at Headquarters, the day had been quiet and uneventful; surprisingly so since Hawkeye wasn't there to keep everyone in line. The lieutenant was taking a well-deserved day off, only because Colonel Mustang had ordered her to.

The boys had just returned the night before from a mission including a promising lead on the Philosopher's stone, but had come back empty-handed. Needless to say, Ed wasn't very happy. His mood only worsened when Al woke him that morning, insisting he bring his report to the Colonel like he was supposed to.

"Complaining won't make it feel better." Alphonse chided his irritable brother. Ed only grumbled in response.

"Got a toothache or something, Chief?" Inquired Havoc, as he turned around in his chair to face the boys. Out of habit, he started to reach for his cigarette to put it out, just like Hawkeye always told him to whenever Edward was around.

"No," Ed responded, "It's just a loose tooth that's been bugging me."

At this, Breda chuckled as he, too, turned to face the 13-year-old. "You still have baby teeth?" he teased with a smirk.

Edward glared angrily at him, "It's my last one."

"If it bothers you so much, why don't you just pull it out?" Fuery piped up.

"I've tried, but the stubborn thing won't come out!" Ed growled, crumpling the report in his hand slightly.

"I bet we can get it out." Havoc grinned, "Which one is it?" He asked, gesturing for Edward to come closer.

Al answered for his brother, "The one to the left of his front teeth."

Edward stepped closer to Havoc, "Uh huh," he said, opening his mouth and pointing to the troublesome little tooth.

"My older brother and I used to think of all sorts of ways to pull teeth when we were younger." The blonde man told him, "The classic string attached to a door, a string tied to the back of a car, and once we even tried to use a slingshot to shot little pebbles at the tooth." Havoc chuckled, "That one ended in a trip to the hospital after he hit me in the eye."

"I tied a string to my tooth and a stick and gave it to my dog." Fuery said, "It was my last tooth to loose, and I didn't want to just pull it regularly."

"I pulled out my last two at the same time." Breda boasted, puffing his chest out.

Havoc rolled his eyes before turning to Falman, "Hey Falman, when you were a kid, did you ever pull out teeth in a fun way?"

Falman, who had been trying his hardest to ignore them and work on his paperwork, answered without looking up. "I hate loose teeth. I always just waited for them to fall out on their own."

"Aw, you're boring." Havoc remarked, turning back to the small alchemist at his side. "So Ed, wanna loose that tooth today?"

Edward considered this for a moment. He looked at the report in his hand, then to the door of the Colonel's inner office. Well, when he'd spoken to Roy the night before, he didn't get him a specific time to hand in the report. He only said to bring it the next morning. Deciding he would hand in the report before the afternoon, Ed looked up at Havoc and nodded a big grin on his face.

The next few hours were spent trying to pull Ed's tooth out in every way imaginable. It appeared the little tooth liked where it was, and refused to move; and no-one would try too hard to make it, not wanting to hurt Ed.

One would think that after trying over and over, Edward would get angry and tired of trying, but this wasn't the case. Even though his gums were starting to ache and his mouth grew tired of staying open for long periods of time, Ed was in a much better mood than he was earlier. No matter how unsuccessful they were, Edward and the other soldiers (with the exception of Falman) were having fun, often going into fits of laughter when their silly ideas failed.

Meanwhile, in the inner office, Roy Mustang was trying his hardest to focus on his work. He had been determined to complete his paperwork that day and prove to Lieutenant Hawkeye he could do it without her help and without getting distracted or slacking off. Hours ago when he heard the Elrics arrive, he ignored the noise that came with them. But then the soldiers started talking with the boys, and from the bits of the conversation Roy picked up, he realized they were talking about loose teeth. Figuring Edward had a loose tooth; he continued with his paperwork and ignored the chattering as much as he could. After hours of listening to his subordinates goof around, Roy was finally fed up with it. Slamming his pen down, he stood and marched over to his door and threw it open.

When the door opened, all heads in the room shot toward the colonel and everyone froze. Roy scanned the room and quickly spotted Ed standing in front of Havoc. The blonde man's hands were hovering in front of Ed's mouth, apparently in the process of tying a string to Ed's tooth. Roy stomped over to his youngest subordinate, shoving Havoc out of his way. He grabbed Ed's chin, jerked his face up and his mouth back open. Roy pulled the loose half-tied string off Ed's tooth and pinched the small tooth tightly with his thumb and first finger. With a quick hard yank, Ed's tooth was out.

"Ow!" Ed cried and immediately put his left hand to his now bleeding mouth. Roy took Ed's automail hand in his and placed the tooth in his palm.

"Where is your report?" He demanded harshly. Ed took his hand out of his mouth and pointed to his report on top of Havoc's desk. Roy strode over to the desk and snatched up the papers.

"I better not hear another sound from this room." he warned. With that, the colonel returned to his office, slamming the door behind him. The men could only stare at the office door, stunned by what had just happened. Ed glanced to his brother, and the two silently walked toward the exit, the elder grabbing a handful of tissues on the way. After closing the office door behind them, Ed noticed almost every soldier was staring at him. They must have heard the commotion inside and were wondering what had happened. Ignoring the stares, Ed simply continued down the halls as his younger brother behind him apologized for the noise. When the two reached the front desk, the female soldier behind the desk stood and gaped at the small boy when she noticed the bloody tissues crammed in his mouth.

"Edward! What happened?" she asked worriedly. Ed grinned and held up the small tooth in his right hand.

"Jus' los' a toof." he lisped as he spoke with the tissues in his mouth, and then started for the front doors.

"Goodbye, miss." Al told the woman, giving a small polite bow before hurrying after his brother.

The woman sighed and shook her head as she sat back down and watched the boys through the window as they raced away.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I blame the plot bunnies and my 7-year-old sister who just started losing teeth. XD**

**When I got the idea a week or so ago, I just couldn't get it out of my head until I wrote it down. Then I forgot about it until today. So when I found it saved on my laptop while searching for something to do, I decided to post it simply because I'm bored.**

**Well, tell me what you think! (But don't take this too seriously lol)**

**Oh, btw, the picture for this story I drew! If you like it, check out my deviantart page! (It's the same username as here, DBZfangurl47 :D)**

**EDIT MARCH 2013: This story won a humor writing contest over at the DeviantART Risembool Rangers! (Vic Mignongna fan club :D)**


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